My gig at Farnham went really really well with a lovely company and a great audience, some of whom were deaf, so that was a great bonus for a captioner!

Packed away, said my goodbyes, powered up the Tom Tom and set off.

2 mins later I notice the back door is showing the DOOR OPEN sign so I pull over, turn the engine off but leave the keys in and jump out. Slam the back door and head for the front.

whirrrr

that's the sound of the car's central locking kicking in.

ah

um

err

try all the doors

try them again

look around

try all the doors again then ring Sarah and see if her RAC will cover it

no they won't but she says they say online if you join up it's only 40 odd quid and they'll come out now

now they won't it's £107

see a bloke in a VW who parks up nearby and ask him to try his key in my door

nope but luckily he lives nearby so he stays and offers advice until saying he'll watch the car from his house whilst I pop to the local police station

they say ring the RAC or AA or a locksmith

thanks

come back to the car ask another bloke if he knows any local locksmiths and he not only gives me a number but automatically rings his AA number and gives me his phone to see if they can do anything

yes they can- for £119

Ring the blokes locksmith but he's not answering

Google locksmiths from the iPhone and ring Dynolock

they don't do cars

so I ring the top Google search- the sponsored Ad at the top

UNITEDKINGDOMLOCKSMITHS.NET

Who were rude, surly, uncooperative and because I didn't know my exact postcode, the operator put the phone down

BASTARDS

Desperation is setting in so in conference with the wife I go find a bloody big rock, cover the back window and slam it hard into the small window of the Polo about 6 times

until my hand hurt as it didn't break

luckily some dicks in flat nearby decided to turn the light out in their place and look outside to which they got a stare of death and they decided the TV was more interesting......

Only one thing for it

Get Sarah to ring the RAC from home and sort it out for £107

which they did, 15 minutes later it took the bloke less than 30 secs to get in to the car, 2 mins to recharge the battery (remember the lights were on) and at about the time I should have been arriving home, I set off...

YAWN

luckily Radio 4 kept me going and the fact that most of the motorways were quiet so I got home about 01:45

to be up at 06:45 to work until 17:00 travel 45 mins to my BSL at 18:00, finish at 20:00 and now have just eaten tea, cooked by the lovely wife, and I'm here doing this...

luckily I'm in at 8:30 tomorrow....

but it's nonetheless been a really good day and the fact the Polo mysteriously locked itself and we're £107 lighter is just a mere blip on a great couple of days

so bring it on World and we'll keep on smiling

:)